“This IS Krishna-Prem!”
It was in the year 2006, ten years ago. I was serving Fakir Mohan Prabhu in the Srila Goura Govinda Maharaj Seva Asram near the Krishna-Balaram temple in Bhubaneswar.
I remember how one pujari would sometimes bring prasadam from the temple and hand it over to me. One day the pujari visited and brought prasadam as usual and Prabhuji told me: “You see; Krishna is sending you His own prasadam!”
I had been contemplating Srila Goura Govinda Maharaja’s lecture in which he mentioned that those with a cheating mentality will not get Krishna-prem, but all other things, and with some hesitation I said: “That’s nice, but I want Krishna-prem!”
“This IS Krishna-prem!” Prabhuji replied forcefully. “Out of love, He is sending His prasadam for you!”
I was stunned. What a sublime perspective. I am only thinking about my feelings, but Prabhuji relates to the love and feelings of Krishna with His devotees.
Sometime after that, thieves broke into the temple in Kendrapara in which Sri-Sri Radha-Madhava, the ancestral deities of Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura, were residing. We got a phone call that they had stolen the new western toilet by lifting it over the large compound wall. Miraculously, they did not touch Thakurji and His paraphernalia.
Prabhuji immediately handed me Radha-Madhava’s travel suitcase and sent me to bring them. “They want to come here, bring Them quickly!”
I had not taken initiation at that time, but I felt it was an emergency, and with Prabhuji’s order, all will be fine. During the three and a half hours long bumpy bus ride I prayed to Sri-Sri Radha-Madhava to forgive me for Their discomfort. Back in the asram, I placed Them on the altar and asked Prabhuji: “Now who will worship Them?”
“You will!” “But I don’t have initiation!” “From today, you chant one lakh harinam. Mahaprabhu promised that He will accept food from anyone who chants one lakh!”
I froze. My mind was saying “I cannot do it! I can hardly manage to maintain all the sevas in the asram and to chant 32 rounds!” But my heart was dancing. The next morning I got up very early. Somehow, although I now chanted twice as much and furthermore did the sringara and aratis of Radha-Madhava, it all worked out fine – even better. It was like a wonder. You can imagine how happy I was.
Nevertheless, I felt completely unqualified worshiping Radha-Madhava without formal training, and sent emails to many devotees, including various leading ISKCON sannyasis, requesting them to send a pujari. “Who would not want to serve the deities of Thakura Bhaktivinoda?” I thought. But not a single email came back. When I expressed my astonishment to Prabhuji, he laughed affectionately and said: “Why are you running here and there? Just be happy and accept the Lord’s plan. The devotees are busy and I am also busy with writing my thesis. Radha-Madhava made all these arrangements so They can accept your seva. This is also Krishna-prem!”
By Radhamadhav Das
The Disappearance of Sripad Fakir Mohan Prabhu
At about 6:46 pm yesterday evening, this world became a darker place. Pujyapad Fakir Mohan Maharaja left this world, surrounded by devotees chanting Hare Krishna and crying. His departure was extremely auspicious: He had a prasada Tulasi leaf on his mouth, the Govardhan Sila given to him by his Gurudeva was on his forehead, on his chest was a prasada chadar from the ancient deity of Tota-Gopinath, there was a plate full of Salagram Silas by his head. Also on his chest was a silk rope that had been used to tie Lord Jagannath to his Ratha-yatra cart in Puri. There was also a Jagannath prasada Gita Govinda Khandua on his chest, the cloth with verses written on it from Jayadev Goswami’s Gita Govinda.
When we arrived yesterday at about 11 am to the Apollo hospital in Bhubaneswar, he was in the ICU intensive care unit. At that time the doctors would not allow even one of us to enter and softly chant japa standing near him. I told the head doctor, “Look, we are vaishnavas. We love this sadhu, but we want to chant with him. That is what he would want. If there is no hope and he is going to leave his body then please let us take him somewhere, where we can chant for him.”
He said, “Well, there is a small hope that he may make it. As long as that is there I want to keep him here in the ICU.” An hour later his organs started failing. He was bleeding so badly internally that he was given 21 litres of blood in 16 hours. His stomach and whole body were swelling up with the internal bleeding, which they were draining in several places. Finally, the blood became too much strain on his kidneys and the dialysis machine was no longer helping him. His blood pressure started going down, and he was leaving.
It was around that time — that one by one — somehow, all 18 of us found our way to his bed in the ICU.
At that time we started doing kirtana — and what a kirtana! We didn’t give a damn for their rules or for what anyone thought. We started singing Fakir Mohan Prabhu’s favorite song of Bhaktivinode, “Jaya Radha Madhava”, in the tune he used to hauntingly sing. We sang together for over an hour, while the nurses and doctors began to gather nearby watching and listening to us. Everyone in our group was crying and singing Hare Krishna mantra in a very piteous way. The doctors came a few times and gently asked us to sing more quietly, which we immediately did, but they didn’t ask us to stop and they didn’t kick us out, rather little by little they all gathered to watch and hear.
It was clear that they could understand this was a very special person and a very special occasion.
Somehow, by the mercy of our dear godbrother Purushottam Tirtha Prabhu and other kind devotees, I got to stand by Fakir Mohan Prabhu’s head for a couple of hours, singing Hare Krishna into his ear. I was still standing there and singing at about 6:46 PM yesterday, on Friday the 18th, when his vitals gradually stopped, his heartbeat became a steady line on the screen, and the terrible realisation began to set in on all of us that we were no longer going to have his physical association.
He had left.
This morning we prepared his body, giving him a bath in Radha-kund and Lalita Kund waters, shaving his head, putting tilak, and dhoti on him, while devotees chanted and cried outside the room. We then took him to the ISKCON Krishna Balaram temple in Bhubaneswar for more kirtan, while all the devotees came, circumambulated his body and offered their last respects. We then went to Jagannath Puri where 50 or so devotees gathered doing kirtan and putting garlands on his body, before we burned his mortal remains and said our goodbyes. Following that all the devotees came to our ashram for more kirtan and Jagannath prasada.
Thank you Fakir Mohan Prabhu for all of your friendship, unlimited encouragement, encyclopedic knowledge, mega enthusiastic classes, oceanic devotion, fierce chastisement, and your one-pointed focus on the Holy Name! Thank you for letting me be with you when you left this world! Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your inspiration and guidance!
This rascal, unworthy object of your affection,
By Madhavananda Das
A few humble memories
In one of his classes, Fakhir Mohan Prabhu was discussing who is a true guru and who is a true disciple. He was surprised at the lack of faith sometimes shown by the ISKCON devotees. “Sometimes the devotees ask me, ‘Maharaja, do you think my Guru is bona fide?’” He laughed in his big and hearty way. “But they have already accepted him and taken initiation, how can they ask this kind of question?”
By Akincana Krishna Das